I do not have
the best history with music made by stars of teen shows. This is both due to
both professionally disliking the music, and disliking the music on principle.
Recently, though, my professional opinion towards teen pop music has thawed and
so I wish to publically reflect this. In past couple months, four former teen
show stars, two Disney and two Nickelodeon, have released new singles – all of
them, in some way or another, being a shift in career for the artists. This
post will be dedicated to my thoughts on each of them, as I discuss the good,
the ok…and the “Miley.”
The
Good
1. “The
Way” – Arianna Grande feat. Mac Miller
Ms. Grande is the first of two of the Nickelodeon
stars on this list, both from the same show: Victorious. While Grande put out a single in 2011, in many ways I
think this should be considered her proper “debut” single. Unlike 2011’s “Get
Your Hearts Up,” “The Way” feels pointed and focused, suggesting that she knows
her artistic direction. Grande’s new track allows me to introduce an idea that
will be seen throughout this review; maturity. Despite the differences in the
way each track handles maturity, one of the reasons that I like these tracks is
because of that theme. After hearing many of these artists make simple, bland,
for-kinds-and-teens pop songs, it is refreshing to hear them sing in more adult
terms.
While Grande is not explicit, as everyone but Miley
will be, she sings about desire and wanting that has more in common with lust
or mature romance than teenage attraction. On that note of her singing – OH
BOY, can she sing! As other critics have noted, “The Way’ has a strong Mariah
Carey-vibe to it, especially in the airy vocals Grande lays down as a
pre-chorus section. The song allows Grande to run her sweet, airy voice along
the octave and timbre spectra. While the main vocal stays at a consistent pitch
and timbre, the accentuating vocal flourishes show off, brief as they are, the
stellar range of her voice.
Mac Miller’s intro lines and verse also fit
extremely well into the flow and feel of the track. Miller not only provides
the perspective of the other half of the love in question. Miller also flits
between teenage and adult, as he goes from talking about “it being groovy,” to
watch a movie, to telling everyone how she “Is a princess to the public but a
freak when it’s time.” Grande and Miller create a fun love song that flits
between teenage and adult understanding of love, and show “The Way” that other
teen artists should follow.
Rating:
8.0/10
2. “Come
and Get It” – Selena Gomez
Gomez’s production staff has apparently been
rather steeped in the British pop scene of the 1980s, not only because of
Bhangra influence. Much like the Police’s megahit “Every Breath You Take,” the
romantic, sweet sounding lyrics are a lot darker and more aggressive than at
initial listen. When Gomez sings “This love ain’t finished yet,” it is hard to
tell if she means it romantically or, to borrow a term from The Fairly Odd Parents,
“threatmantically.” Much like Sting, Gomez’s writers play up the darkest parts
of stalking, as she sings “This love will be the death of me / But I know I’ll
die happily.”The music video helps affirm the lyric’s underlying darkness, down
to the black color of her dress, are a main visual in the video.
Either
way, the song is a great show of maturity for Gomez, and her best work yet. While
fellow teen-y boppers Amanda Bynes and Miley Cyrus struggle with the transition
out of teen stardom to adulthood, Gomez has done so with maturity and grace.
“Come and Get It,” is a reflection of this coming into adulthood.
Rating:
8/10
The
OK
“Gold” – Victoria Justice
As you may notice, this song is in the “OK”
category, so I do have some problems with it. The main problem I have with this
song is the title word “Gold.” My contention is not with the lyric itself, but
the execution in the song. Despite having Justice singing at a fairly
consistent mid-range for the majority of the song, for whatever reason, someone
decided it would be a great idea if she basically shrieked the word “Gold.” I
cringe every time that word comes through on the song. The tie in issue is, if
not for that one word, I would like this song a lot more…like A LOT. The song
lulls me into this happy, pop, lala land that I actually enjoy, but hearing
“Gold” shrieked far beyond her uppermost register immediately snaps me out of
that happy place. That one word essentially ruins the song.
This is not the only problem. The other complaint I
have is with the bridge…basically all of it. This is another point where I put
my head in my hands and wish to know what the producer was thinking. The bridge
is this semi-rapped section that features Victoria Justice trying WAY too hard
to sound “street.” It just…it does not work at all. I actually think it would
be possible offensive to some people, seeing how it almost sounds like offensive
parody rather than a genuine performance [maybe they thought the Puerto Rican
heritage would give the street flare they needed]. Not only is it borderline
offensive, but it is a musical non-sequitur. There is no precedent or real
reason for the bridge to be structured this way.
I really wanted to like this song, but the two
colossal red flags prevent me from thinking its ok. I still give credit to
Victoria for making what would otherwise be a fair/strong debut. Also, this
song seems to be proof that she should just let the writers provide the lyrics
– she co-wrote the B-side “Shake,” and that makes “Gold” almost look like
Lennon-McCartney by comparison
Rating:
6.0/10
The
Miley
“We Can’t
Stop” – Miley Cyrus
Aside from the main complaint, the song just sounds
like it was written by 20 year old, I-have-way-too-much-of-daddy’s-money party
monster. There is no hint of intelligence in songwriting, just a
near-incoherent jumble of thoughts and drunken shout outs. The issue again is,
I would forgive Cyrus and her songwriting team for the bad songwriting if she
actually sounded excited about what she was singing. If she sounded excited,
then the line “To my home girls here with the big butt / Shaking it like we at
a strip club / Remember only God can judge ya,” would actually sound empowering
and “f*** yeah, we’re all awesome at this party” – like a party anthem should
be. Also, Miley, TuPac is the only one who sounds cool saying “only God can
judge __” you just sound like an overly, happy drunk, party chick who just
wants to “spread the love.” Just because “You Can’t Stop” Miley, does not mean
that you shouldn’t stop.
Raitng:
0/10
(If you couldn’t tell already)
This review may be a bit too harsh towards Cyrus and
all the stereotypes I could think of, and I apologize for that. Part of my rage
towards this song is that, except for the fine minds at Rolling Stone, most other critics met the song with positive
review. In essence, my build up and concentration of vile here is meant to
compensate for all of their reviews.
So there it is, an exercise in reviewing teen star
pop music. I gave the Good, the OK, and the “Condemn forever to the darkest
corners of Space,” also known as “The Miley.”
-
- Jackson Sinnenberg
So
maybe I have watched their shows, what’s it to ya?
